


home is wherever i’m with you

by sarawatines



Category: YYY มันส์เว่อร์นะ | YYY The Series (TV)
Genre: 1x06 Canon Compliant, Angst, Character Study, Cuddling, Insecurities, M/M, Yes I’m taking this chaotic show seriously, fluff if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:53:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24531103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarawatines/pseuds/sarawatines
Summary: If Nott had to vocalize how he felt during the kiss this would be the only answer he could give: it just felt like he finally found a place he could call home. He felt content, simple as that. The kiss reminded Nott of how he felt when he finally figured out what was wrong with Porpla’s television or when he thinks of a new invention.
Relationships: Nott/Pun
Comments: 16
Kudos: 46





	home is wherever i’m with you

**Author's Note:**

> so uh, did i write a serious oneshot surrounding nott’s insecurity/decision to turn down pun? you betcha. yes i know the show is chaotic and insane but if no one else is going to write fics for these idiots I guess i will

The silence that pervaded the small hospital room was deafening save from the occasional beeping of the machine Nott was hooked up to and the shallow breathing that came from Pun. Some would argue the silence was awkward or uncomfortable—both were accurate descriptions after the previous events that took place earlier in the afternoon—yet Nott couldn’t help but feel content. It was true that they still needed to talk about that kiss but both were unsure how to bring it up. 

Nott’s confession came from the heat of the moment _(pun very much intended)_ but he didn’t regret it. Not fully at least. Hours later he was still tingling all over. _Sure, this feeling was partially from second degree burns but Nott liked to think it solely was the cause of that kiss._ It was hard to put into words how it felt to kiss Pun though. He struggled to string together a series of words that were fitting enough to describe how he felt inside. How did people manage to wax poetry about that simple action? His knees didn’t get weak. He didn’t see stars or fireworks. The world around him didn’t stop. Did that somehow make the kiss between them less significant? No. 

If Nott had to vocalize how he felt during the kiss this would be the only answer he could give: it just felt like he finally found a place he could call home.  _ He felt content, simple as that.  _ The kiss reminded Nott of how he felt when he finally figured out what was wrong with Porpla’s television or when he thinks of a new invention. Every press of their lips left Nott feeling as if he finally solved the biggest mystery of his life.  _ Who needs to compare a kiss to some obscure symbolism in literature when you could compare it to how one felt when they made that machine to stop snoring?  _ It was undoubtedly unusual and truly unromantic but Nott knew if he told this to Pun he would get it.  _ Somehow.  _ Hopefully. 

The fact that he found someone who could understand him so well just made what he had to do hurt even more. He was not that experienced with love, relationships, or physical intimacy but most of all he was not experienced with breaking up with people. Which he was going to do. Before they even got together. Yuri didn’t count because they were never together. For a reason that even Nott himself was unsure about.

He just knew that it was the right thing to do. Pun was...god. Pun was checked off every little box on that dumb list Nott made years ago detailing who his ‘perfect’ person was. Pun was not perfect though—in fact he had plenty of qualities that was the very definition of imperfect. Despite his angelic looks he had the capability to be the very opposite: he was stubborn, passive aggressive, and cold hearted at times. Nott could be just as bad, he knew it. He knew that even though it was evident how Pun felt there was certain qualities that got under his skin. Mainly Nott’s obviousness (to both Pun and Arm’s feelings), his snoring (that he most certainly fake it at times just because he enjoys the curse words that fall out of Pun’s mouth), and his general inability to stay out of other people's business. 

Yet there was something so undeniably good about Pun. He was caring and understanding to everyone in the apartment complex—even to Wang Chao and Mahan which is a feat in itself. He was obviously attractive. It was impossible to not realize that. He had countless followers online just because of that fact (and because certain people are up any hints of BL. 

However, he still insisted on wearing those striped sweaters every day. Nott wasn’t complaining because a) Pun looked adorable in them and b) it just added to his overall allure.  _ Pun was adorable. He was sweet. Kind. Funny. Just as chaotic and crazy as everyone else even if he tried to pretend like he was sane.  _ Pun was just...good. A little lost but they all were. 

He was going to let Pun slip through his fingers because of that very fact. Someone as good as Pun one hundred percent deserved to be with someone just as good. Nott was far from that. He was just an orphan who constantly failed at achieving his dreams. Would he not fail at being a decent boyfriend too? Where would he find the time to properly date someone anyways? If he wasn’t working on his inventions he was intervening in whatever drama that was happening in the apartment complex. 

Besides, who would ever be proud of Nott? He wasn’t even proud of himself. It was true that he found solace in the arms of the chaos of Porpla, Om, Arm, and the rest of those who resided in that (vaguely) supernatural building but in Pun’s arms he found a place he could call home. But it was never his to call in the first place was it? Not until he got his life on track. Even if he managed to achieve his dreams it was impossible to tell if that would be enough.  _ If he was enough.  _

Not dating right now was the right choice. It had to be. However his feelings wavered as he glanced down at Pun—at the way they seemed to fit so well together, at least physically. It was true that they were tense after what happened but Pun, without prompting, seemed to just understand Nott’s want at that moment. He wanted ( _ no he needed _ ) reassurance that both of them were okay. He knew this conversation was something that needed to happen sooner rather than later but for right now he just wanted to savor how this feels one more time since it was unlikely that he would ever get to do it again. 

Pun, all soft smiles and fluffy hair, curled up against his side. Unlike Nott he was quiet while he slept but that fact was not surprising. What was surprising was how he never seemed to stay in one position. In the short amount of time they laid in that bed Pun tossed and turned but he didn’t go very far.

In fact he progressively grew closer until he had his face pressed as close as he could against Nott’s neck. One of his arms was holding onto the hospital gown he was wearing as if it was the only thing anchoring him to reality. Maybe it was. Maybe Pun needed this reassurance more than Nott ever did. The other was clasping Nott’s wrist, similar to how it did the first time they slept like this, while their legs were a tangled mess. This was the most intimate and close as they have been since the morning after when Porpla, Latte, and Mocha found them on the floor and that failed attempt of seduction where Nott asked if he wanted to  _ try out sex _ . You know, as one platonic roommate would offer to another. That was an accident while this was far from that. 

Nott has to admit that this particular position was not the most comfortable especially while he was in pain but there was no way he was going to get up. Pain be damned—he would deal with the repercussions later. Besides after tonight he would be in a new kind of pain, a pain that would hurt way more than a couple burns ever would. 

Sighing, he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of Pun’s head, letting his lips linger longer than was needed. Would this be the last time he would be able to do that? He spent his whole life searching for a place to call home and he found it.

He found it and now had to give it up.

They were just two lost souls searching for their better half. They were two puzzle pieces—a bolt and it’s washer—they were every other analogy out there you could think of. They spent so long looking for a place to belong and their perfect match only to realize that when they found it they didn’t quite fit as well as they should. For right now though, they could pretend like they did. They could pretend like they were a perfect fit. At least for the next few hours.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to scream with me over nottpun/this show on my tumblr [here](https://sarawatiness.tumblr.com/)


End file.
